What it’s like having Four Children under Four Years Old…
What is it like having four children under four is a question I am constantly asked and for good reason, because it’s beautiful, funny, crazy, overwhelming chaos every day. I have a 7 weeks old, a 1.5 year old, and 3.5 year old twins. I think a good explanation is what happened yesterday when we got home from running some errands.
First off, getting four kids in and out of car seats is a workout on its own, especially when some car seats are turned backwards and in the corners of the car. One child always wants to stay outside or run around the cars so you have to get all four kids inside safely.
So yesterday’s story was once we all got inside, two children wanted apple juice and one chocolate milk. I couldn’t find clean cups and of course, they have a favorite cup. God forbid, I put the wrong juice or milk in the wrong up and/or the wrong tops on the wrong cups. Well, I did both… So the kids were whining and yelling. All while, the baby has started to scream because he wanted me to pick him up. All while, the 1.5 year old wants a snack. I had bought Chinese food but he can’t wait until I have an arm free so he’s demanding I open a snack. Obviously when I tell him no that he has to wait for dinner he explodes and throws the snack. Anyways, this perfect storm of emotions happens at least once a day, at least.
Another example is having four little fires in different parts of your home and you run to find the fire extinguisher because of course, you forgot where you put it. You have to prioritize in your head safety wise which fire do you put out first. On the way you trip on a toy and put out that fire and continue until they are all content. By the way, these fires are screaming and crying lol. Sometimes the fires are throwing things or hitting each other.
On the other hand, I have times when I am on the couch and I have one sitting on my shoulders, two on my lap, and one in between my legs standing. They are all loving on me, in some way and choose to come near me instead of sitting apart from me. I am blessed to still get to hold a tiny baby while the 1.5 year old does baby talk and still somewhat listens and then the twins play together in the most adorable way and can talk to me in complete sentences and WANT to still talk to me. I get to put them to bed and once they are asleep I admire four tiny human beings that my heart pounds for. I get kisses and hugs all the time. They are my reason for existence. At times, I feel like my heart will explode from the love and silliness and beauty. So, yes, it is sooooo overwhelming at times, but more often, it is sooooo full of love.
Some cognitive wellness strategies I used that help me when chaos is taking over is taking deep breaths in and out. I also put things into perspective such as they are toddlers or babies, so they are only acting their age. I think or even say under my breath this will be over soon, just keep going.
If I need a moment I take it which means asking for help or going to another room for a minute even if a child is crying. Also, I put things into perspective and list what I am grateful for like I will legit use my fingers and list ten things I am grateful for at that moment. My children emotionally regulate through me and my emotions, words, body language so I have to be in control of myself even if it’s hard to do. One day at a time! My advice is to find a cognitive wellness strategy that helps calm you and use it often! God speed!
