You are Having Multiples, Now What!?
Multiples!
Whether this is your first time being a mother or your fifth, having multiples can be overwhelming and quite scary. Here are three things I learned having multiples that immensely helped me…
If you have a village, you will need it.
Postpartum was very difficult for me after my multiples. With the added hormones from IVF and just being a scared, nervous first-time mom, I would just hold my babies and cry. I remember being so scared something would happen to them that I would not sleep or even move them much from room to room. We also do not come from a big village. Thankfully, my mom did help for the first few months so I could sleep some. If you have one or even two people that you fully trust, please ask them for help. Ask for things such as doing the laundry, sterilizing bottles or breastfeeding supplies, organizing the house, or bringing groceries, breakfast, lunch, or dinner. If you do not have a village all I can say is take it one day at a time, one hour at a time, one minute at a time. Reach out to moms of multiple groups in your area or on social media. Reach out to someone who understands what you are going through. Reach out to me!
Schedules matter!
The first few weeks of being a mom of multiples is like night is day and day is night and the world just keeps turning while babies’ cry. Once it stabilizes though, try to put both babies on the same schedule. I always had a fifteen-minute rule. If one woke up to feed the next one had to feed within the next fifteen minutes. If I changed one’s diaper, I would change the others. We went to bed at the same time every night. We always had them take a bath, a bottle, then bedtime. We used sound machines, black out curtains, and the same routine every single day. I am telling you if you only tend to one when needed and not the other you will forget who was when and who needs to be changed because it all becomes a whirlwind. So, again use that fifteen-minute rule.
Be kind to yourself.
This was something very hard for me. I had tried for five years unsuccessfully for five years then when they came, I was an emotional mess who would google every question and be researching at 3 am when I should be sleeping. Please know, whether a mom to multiples or a first-time mom, you give birth to something you love more than you ever even realized love could be. This love also brings IMMENSE fear, worry, and anxiety.
Be kind to yourself… When you feel stressed, that is okay. When you are losing your mind because of sleep deprivation, that is okay. This is all a phase, a crazy beautiful part of life which will pass as quickly as it comes. My twins are now three years old, and they play together, talk with each other, hug each other, and are always together. They sleep through the night now and are each other’s best friend (most days). The infant time is a time I look back and say to myself I survived that. I was okay even when I felt not okay. I did it one day at a time and now look at my amazing children. Again, be kind to yourself. However, you feel it is okay and if it is not then reach out to other moms of multiples. Reach out to your doctor. Reach out to me. You are not alone.
